Poetry Competition: Isn’t It Ironic? Results

Thanks to all who’ve entered the contest. We received an interesting mix of both comedic and deep poems of irony, I had a blast reading through all the talent on display here!

Congratulations to winners:

Pastordavidrn – ‘The Vain Princess’
A fairytale-like read filled with classic rhyme and a central dilemma that lends itself well to the irony the author introduces. Comedic and full of energy, The Vain Princess was my favourite entry to the competition.

a shacknofsky – ‘The Lady in Blue [H]’
Containing whimsical language and a scenario reminiscent of a Rupert Holmes song, The Lady in Blue pokes fun at a stale marriage in simple rhyme and an easy-to-follow story and saves its twist for the last line.

Dindleh – ‘Steaming Treats’
Another story steeped in comedy and irony told through rhyme that doesn’t detract from the flow. Steaming Treats showcases a tale of ironic karma for a would-be thief in a fun rhyme and wraps up with a makeshift moral that will make you smile.

And honorable mentions:
Greg Gaul – ‘Tempest Deep’
Peacock Secrets Poetry – ‘The Empress’
WhirlpoolMemoirs – ‘Who am I?’

Be sure to give them all a follow to check out more of their work and keep your eyes peeled for more contests from me in future.

~ Giuseppe Gillespie

Winner Showcase

“Mirror, mirror, hide my wart
From that handsome prince in court.
Magic mirror, make it go,
So I catch him as my beau.
Smithereens is what you’ll be,
If this blemish he should see!
Mix a potion! Make it pass!
Do my bidding, looking glass!”

“Not so fast, you little snip!
Spare me from such royal lip!
Hid from your bedazzled view,
That knave has more warts than you!
But to suit your vanity,
Your own spell will meet your plea:
Noting well your single blot,
He’ll make haste to tie the knot!”

— David L. Hatton, 10/12/2020

There's a fellow that I once knew
who told a story he swears is true,
about a time he can't forget
that left him feeling so upset.

When married life was such a bore
he felt an urge he had to explore.
Computer dating sounded great
and so he planned a secret date.

He went on line and found someone
who sounded like a lot of fun.
He charmed her with a pack of lies,
a pseudonym was his disguise.

He said he’d take out to eat
at a diner where they could meet.
He’d wear black and she’d wear blue.
so each would know who was who.

And there he met with such a surprise
that he could hardly believe his eyes,
It seems that he did not have a clue
his wife would be the lady in blue.

We’ve been out walking late today
And running round the park
With lots of owners and their dogs
That bounce and jump and bark
But now we’re tired and heading home
A short cut through the town
We’re walking past the takeaway
Where all sorts hang around

A scruffy chap with greasy hair
Comes up to us and grins
He asks me if I’ve got spare cash
And rattles his old tin
I shake my head and tell him no
I didn’t bring my purse
He stares at me, narrows his eyes
And spits a nasty curse

"If I can’t have your cash today
I’ll have your bag of food"
He shows me the point of his knife
It’s blackened, sharp and crude
I hand the steaming bag to him
And we run off in haste
We hurry round the corner
Before he investigates

A scream of horror fills the air
He’s emptied out the bag
Hopefully, a lesson learnt
For this menacing lag
Not all the bags of steaming stuff
Contain hot takeout food
We walkers and our little dogs
Keep bags for doggy-doos...

Each land's delegates journey hence
All pleading, imploring, seeking to impress

Laden with favors and gifts:
vibrantly painted pottery upon the heads of servants,
heavy jewelry, festooned with corals and pearls,
husks of exotic grain dipped in sunsets.

Each emissary begs and simpers
face as truthful as a jinny's
full of phony, tactless attempts at compliments.

Each prostrates and genuflects,
assuming his homeland's health hangs
in this royal court's balance.

It is not befitting for an empress to confess:
I do not care for their wheedling displays.
Requests need not be dressed in bribes.
Speak simply! Stand honest and guileless!

I ride the waves of innocence
on the ocean of The Now.
From the depths of dank
a demon stalks my bow.

On deck afraid, alone I stood
quelling fear the best I could.
Furled the jib and reefed the main
what you do when the wind's insane.
Then rising atop a stormy swell
the giant beast straight from hell.

Peering so deep in its deathly eyes
I could hear a thousand sailors' cries.
The chilling truth that I could see
was the evil thing in fact was me.

Competition Details

Write/submit me a poem with the core theme being something ironic. This can be storylike in structure (say a particular event or two of misfortune) or more abstract in a broader exploration of the theme.

I’m looking for playful poetry of any style with clever turns-of-phrase to convey a few or many of life’s little ironies. Pre-writes accepted.

Entry is free and the winner will receive a cash prize and a feature on the website.

Rules

• 10 lines minimum
• Nothing hateful or racist
• Profanity is allowed but usually I can’t take poems containing it very seriously
• No explicit sexual descriptions – innuendo is fine, don’t be weird
• Double-check spelling, punctuation, and grammar before submitting. It doesn’t have to be perfect; however, I appreciate neat writing as it’s more enjoyable to read
• One entry per person

I am ACCEPTING SUBMISSIONS UNTIL THE 30^th of March 2023 or until a certain number of valid submissions are met. I aim to have the contest judged within a week of the closing date.

_{*Submissions done through AllPoetry.}

_{**Prize paid out through PayPal or Revolut.}